Big Boss Blues

It's official people, it is no fun being the big boss lady. I say get off that ladder now, because when you get to the top, things just get hard and stressful and it all stops being fun. How do I know this...well a week after I arrive in Kabul, the boss lady leaves and as she is getting on the plane (not quite, but you get the picture) she yells back "so you're the boss now."

I am in charge of an office of 10 Afghan men. I am in charge of the finances and the safe (which up until last week only had $50 left in it). I am dealing with the snake in the guard's hut ("we cannot sleep there anymore Gemma Jaan") and the quitting of the finance guy and the loss of my driver, to be replaced by another guy who although is lovely cannot speak English, reverse, or find anywhere in Kabul. I am having important and scary meetings with UNDP and FAO and FCO. I'm attending sharing workshops at the Supreme Court and the Ministry of Women's Affairs. I'm batting off the daily requests for money from the staff as we only have $50 now $40 now $30 dollars left in the safe (while we wait for a late transfer from HQ). I have to decided whether to use the last $30 for generator fuel for electricity or food for lunch. I am working with the content guy, trying patiently to explain to him what a radio presenter is and why a program needs one. I am working on radio dramas and re-writing scripts and organising 2-day media events for ministers in provinces. I am putting together concept papers and heading to a province with a pilot called tin-can-Bob to do research in to Human Rights. I am going to the bank to pick up the money that has finally arrived and paying salaries and saying no to advances and practically spending it all in one day. I am doing a study of all the production houses in the area, I am getting 20 emails a day with more to-do lists. I am surrounded by scraps of paper with bits of other to do lists on. I am critiquing other organisations programs and giving advice on broadcasting for disabled audiences. I am putting together ideas for broadcasting to youth, broadcasting on rural development, broadcasting on drug demand reduction. I am working a 61/2 day week. I am tired.

I know and I am reminding myself on a daily basis that this is all good experience and day-to-day I am happy (tired but happy) but man, when the big boss lady returns I will happily give up the big seat and the big desk and the big responsibility. And when the day finally comes (end of June now) I will happy drag my tired ass back to Nepal.

Sorry this was not a blog full of insights in to life and culture here, they will come, I just needed to splurge and try to explain why my contact and blogging is sporadic, but don't give up on me.